I haven’t eaten since yesterday. Scarcity of nutrients predisposes my thoughts to roam around aimlessly, rub on one another like in a tinderbox, as if to ensure the precious heat of my body, lucent warmth of life functions, if not in my stomach, will be conceived in my brain. Hence, I am driven to an important notion: when confronted by something truly frightening or trully impressive, one realizes that it is impossible to ignore it. In such situation there are two choices: either to submit to its control, thereby ensuring one’s own protection, or to annihilate it, eliminating the terror it harbours.

For me-and I know at least a few other individuals suffering from similar anxieties-the most abdominal of fears is the one of not being able to blend in with another entity seamlessly. Simple realization that although accordance with complex ideas grants a feeling of true connection, one can never become perfectly merged with another. In a situation of physical closeness this betrayal quotidienne can most often be traced in words said after long intervals of silence, as if the periods of purely physical unity giving the impression of highest mutual connection were illusionary all along, and, in fact, unilateral. But since there are things that are, and things that cannot be, I decide to wrap the above mentioned in a thick plastic bag, burden it with stones, not too big, not too small, and dispose of it in the river.

It’s funny how things play out in our minds, is it not? For example, we all are very well aware that your little pseudo-logical explanations, ideas of social fulfilment and hormonal merits granted upon physical encounters with people are in fact stillborn for the same reason why you even came up with them in the first place: because of your own, ever decaying, predisposition. And yet no one else would ever tell you this! So, I hope you don’t mind me acting on the impulse ignited by my own heroic hunger strike, and bringing you up to speed! If it makes you feel any better, it comes from someone who keeps their close ones locked and charmed in form of beloved pets. Adieu!